Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Just one?

There's been a lot of divorce going on in the media recently, and it has made me do a lot of thinking about relationships and the struggles that come with them. I have also currently been reading "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," so that too has been stirring up thoughts in my brain about the relationships between men and women.

I was talking to a co-worker the other day about relationships: the good, the bad, and the inevitable. We began discussing the theory that maybe human beings just aren't meant to mate for life. That maybe we need to respect that we are animals, and have animal-like urges, and that making us commit to ONE person is like locking us in a cage.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not insisting that this is in fact the truth; but merely an interesting topic to debate upon. It just seems that no matter how much you love someone, there will always come days when you kind-of want to smash their face in. (Too much?) Or simply days where every single thing they say aggravates every little nerve in your body. Now why is that?

They say that true happiness comes from within yourself. No matter what is going on around you. No matter if you are a millionaire or struggling to make ends meet. No matter if you are in a relationship, or alone. So going off that theory, wouldn't having another person around all the time make it more difficult to reach deep down inside of yourself and find that place of peace and serenity?

I will get personal with you, this is something I have been struggling with. I love my boyfriend very much, but I find myself thinking more about HIM and US then I do about ME. Sure, that may sound selfish, but I fully believe that we must make ourselves happy before we can expect to make anyone else happy. Therefore, it's best to think about your very own needs first.

"Do not rely completely on any other human being, however dear. We meet all life's greatest tests alone." ~Agnes Macphail

I had this revelation when I was in meditation group a few weeks ago and I COULD NOT clear my mind of my relationship. Good, bad, indifferent, I couldn't stop myself from swimming in thoughts about it. I know this is normal. I believe that, no matter what they say, everyone reaches points in their relationship where they question whether or not they are with the right person.

I can say from personal experience that I have loved dating all the people I have dated, as I have learned so much from each and every one of them. Each time I'm in a relationship with a new person it teaches me more about myself. BUT, I never feel more like my true genuine self, then when I'm alone.

So then the question remains: ARE human beings meant to find only one other human being to spend their ENTIRE lives with?! Or is that like asking someone to choose only ONE meal for the rest of their life... Or only ONE movie to watch forever... Or only ONE CD to listen too...? If variety is the spice of life, shouldn't that be true with relationships as well?


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