Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I know I am a very big advocate of this policy. I forgive and forget, far to easily. You hurt me, I'm pissed... you apologize, I let it go. I have done this too many times, for too many undeserving people. I have allowed myself to be hurt reptitively, simply for giving the wrong people the un-deserving benefit of the doubt.
The problem: thinking people will change. Thinking that they "won't do it again" or that "they've learned their lesson."
The Truth: people don't change.
Yes, people can grow, learn new things, have new idea's, and POSSIBLY change a little of themselves... but in the long run, I feel like the deep seeded problems,-- the one's dating back to childhood-- those are with us forever. Even when seeking professional help, I know a person can learn about their problems, acknowledge their existance, confront them even... but can you actually get rid of them? Become a different person? Mind over matter?
Even if it is a possibility that someone has wronged you and you decide to forgive them, is it really safe to forget? Wouldn't it be more likely for these problems to repeat themselves if we push the incident out of our heads? And can we ever really forget these things??
As said in Sex and the City, "Can you really forgive, if you can't really forget?"
Some people carry burdens with them throughout their whole lives. My Mom for example, hardly ever lets go of anything. She claims she has a "suitcase" in which she carries around incidents that still tick her off to this day. Example: she is still mad at a girl who threw sand in my face in elementary school! Me on the other hand? I forgave the girl for it, and moved on... but I certainly haven't forgotten it.
I really don't know where I am going with this... it's just something I have been thinking about lately. Also ties in with the whole concept of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." While it may seem like a good idea to block out memories, good or bad, about a person... I don't think it really is. The healthy solution is to become at peace with these things, and learn not to dwell on anything for too long. Only keep things that are healthy in your life, and if you are consistently being disappointed by a person or situation, it's time to move on from it. (I wanna try getting my chakra's cleaned)
Everything in this life is an experience. Situations to learn from, both positive and negative. Life is a rollercoaster people... just enjoy the ride. (I've had way to much time to drown myself in thoughts lately)
So anyways, just thought I would share that bit of knowledge that I have come up with. Now I am trying to decide if UCMT is a better choice then the Ogden Institute of Massage Therapy... I'm sure it is... but is it so much better that I should make the commute? If anyone has any suggestions or advice on this subject, PLEASE let me know!!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It's amazing how much of a difference elevation has on the body. When I got off the plane and walked into the Salt Lake City airport, I literally felt like I couldn't take a deep breathe. I also, almost instantly needed chapstick and lotion. Not to mention it was like 18 degrees when we landed. Ugh.
I definitely need to live by a beach, AND mountains... and around sea level where I can bike and don't have an asthma attack!!
Oh! And another thing about Florida.... they have "Panther Crossing" signs!!!! The same way we have "Deer Crossing" signs!!! It's awesome!!! I totally wanted a picture of one, but they are only on the big highways where I couldn't stop. But if any of you know of Jack's graphic novel... me getting a picture in front of that sign would be brilliant!!! Too bad.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Me and Mom are going to visit her friend in Florida this week. Our flight leaves tonight. I'm so excited to be getting out of this cold and into 80 degree weather!!! Hopefully I can bring back a tan!... (oh silly wishful thinking). So peace out Utah! Won't be seein you next week!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I would take a picture of the real thing.... but I don't have a camera except my phone, and it never stays still long enough for me to get a good one. But I must say I am facinated by this creature, and love when I actually catch it lurking around the back yard.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
- I've only been back in Ogden for two weeks now.... and I'm already ready to leave again. I mean, I love seeing my friends and being with my Mom, but Ogden is...well....Ogden. I feel like I'm 18 all over again; with the thought that if I'm going to live in Utah, I want to at least live in Salt Lake CITY. But really, I'm just ready for something new... again.
- I feel like I'm the only person my age NOT going to school. I know I probably should be... and yet I have NO desire to.
- I have attempted to start a cleanse about three times this week. Not eating is just too damn hard!! Dear Food: why do you have to taste so good?!?!
- The Gold's Gym in Ogden, is NOT affiliated with the Gold's Gym in Salt Lake. WTF?!? Therefore, when my membership automatically starts back up again in January.... I will not be able to go to the gym here. Again: WTF?!?!?!
- I could start work as a waitress tomorrow if I wanted too.... but for some reason I just DON'T want to do it. I love eating out, and working at a restaurant will spoil that for me. Plus people are so damn rude these days. SO I just continue to sit and collect unemployment, waiting for some sort of awesome job opportunity to just come knocking on my door. -sigh-
- I am so tainted on love and relationships right now, that even watching actors embrace each other on TV, irks me.
- I have never felt fatter in my life. It's doing horrible things to my self-esteem. I am so mad at myself for working so hard this spring to look good,(which WAS working) just to ruin it all this summer by drinking my weight in beer and whiskey and never working out. ugh!
- Just like when I lived here before, I hear voices and strange noises when I'm the only one home....this house is totally and completely haunted. Or I'm entering early stages of Dementia, which is not only possible, but likely.
- I find it very difficult to turn down the offer of a drink.... I'm pretty sure at this point you could call me a functioning alcoholic. :/
And the last and final sad, sad fact is:
10. I don't think anyone reads my blogs. So I'm bascially just venting to myself.