Oh St. Mary's...

[I posted this on facebook about three weeks ago, but thought I'd also share it on my blog, for those of you (if there are any) who continue to check this.]

I honestly cannot get internet here… So I want to (somewhat) apologize to all of you who have been trying to get a hold of me via e-mail… The wireless internet is being used by not only the employees, but ALL of the guests, and it is NOT a strong single for anyone. So even if you get online, it takes a good five minutes for each page to upload, and honestly, I have better things I’d rather do with my time. :P Plus, I have no phone.

This place is totally a world in itself. I can’t reiterate that enough. Though I think of all of you often, I am so totally consumed with my new little life in this new little town. It is basically like the 'real world', mixed with 'survivor' mixed with Jerry Springer. (these Indians LOVE to fight)

The pass through the park just barely opened (we’ve been anticipating this for weeks and weeks now) so supposedly our little resort is supposed to be getting extremely busy. I mean, we are the only place to get food within about ten miles (or more) of anything else. I kept trying to explain to my mom how extremely out of reach I am. I mean, I have to drive THREE HOURS to even get to Wal-Mart!!! All that we have here is our tiny little grocery store, our gift shop, our restaurant and my work the Curly Bear (which is like expensive fast food). I even have to drive a good 15 minutes or more to get a bottle of liquor.

So let’s get old fashioned about it, and if you want to send me something, send me a good old letter! You know, like people used to do before internet was invented!!! Haha
The mailing address to send me anything is:

St. Mary’s Lodge and Resort
C/O Crystal Cuskelly / Curly Bear Cafe
HC72 Box 4 Browning, MT, 59417

(and feel free to send me ANYTHING!!! Literally anything!!… shampoo, clothes, food, a nice long letter, a picture, bug spray, magazines, games, cowboy boots, ANYTHING!!! …People get SOOO excited to get packages here, and I totally understand why.)

If you want the story of what I’ve been doing up here, well it’s easy: I get up (usually still tipsy from the night before) go to work, have a pretty kick ass time with my awesome co-workers, serving food and goofing off; then I get off work, see what everyone else is doing (almost ALWAYS drinking somewhere) figure out what sounds the most fun… (drink here with them, or drink there with them) and do that. Sometimes it’s at someone’s house, sometimes it’s at one of the 2-4 bars that are in a reliable distance (one is about 10+ miles away, but we go anyways, called Charlie’s).

Really if you look at it, this place is a sweet set-up for the owner. He houses us and feeds us (for a ridiculous amount of money) and then whenever we want to do something/ buy something, we have to use HIS establishments, I.E. grocery store, gift shop, bar, etc. He is making BANK off not only his customers, but his employees. (great plan)Plus the woman out number the men by a large amount, and all the managers like to take their pick of the woman here, and the women for the most part, don’t know much better at the beginning, so they get their pick. Smooth… real smooth. I'm on to it.

None the less… I am getting exactly what I asked for… to get taken out of my comfort zone. I have never been so excited about a hot shower/toilet paper/towels, etc. this is definitely a challenge and growth in character. Unfortunately, I have no more time, I’ll keep doing my best to stay in touch.

Love and miss you all!
~Crystal

P.S. Don’t stop stopping.

Glacier National Park, Part 1

Okay, so I wasn't kidding at all when I said I was getting cut off from the world. I have seriously only talked to my mom like once! Not having a phone is actually a pain in my ass. I'm dealing just fine with not being able to call people back home... but it sucks when I need to get a hold of the people up here. Therefore I will be going into town today to get a pay as-you-go phone, or something like that. So I'll try and get in touch with everyone when I can.

For those of you wondering, this place is insane. Total disarray! I don't even know how to describe it.
To quote my roommate Stevie:
"Every night is a Saturday and every morning is a Monday"

It is literally like being at summer camp, only with crappy jobs thrown in. Oh and yeah, I got put in the gift shop. The lady who runs it is a total whack job. and I got put in charge of doing inventory on the jewelry... THE JEWELRY!!!! WTF?!?!? this place is gigantic!! It will take me all freaking summer to do it!! Ugh.
Plus they feed us like animals, we all hoard together at the same 3 times a day to eat the slop in a tiny little cafeteria. Course it is a good way to get to know everyone. and thank god for my bland taste buds, so i'll eat anything.
The people so far are really cool. My roommates rock. People from everywhere!! Lots of people from the south, so watch out y'all I might be coming back with a southern twang. :P The funnest is the people from the flat states who have never seen mountains before. I went on a drive through the park yesterday with a few people from Ohio and they were freaking out about how big the mountains are!!! they were all, "LOOK!!! its right there!!! right in front of us!!! this is so crazy!!" It was fun to see someone get so excited about mountains; makes me realize how much I took our mountains back home for granted.

You can only get internet in the lodge here and its pretty shotty... I'm surprised I've had time to type this whole thing. So I probably won't be getting online too often.

Visiting is definitely not going to be as easy as I had imagined. If you come up to visit, plan on camping or paying $100+ for a room in the Lodge. You definitely won't be able to stay up by the employees lodges, they frown upon that. And unless you're in tight with the managers (i'm getting there) they will fire you on the spot if you do something they don't like. As of now, my days off are wednesday and thursday, but that could change. I will try to keep everyone updated.

Pictures to come...

The park of course is GORGEOUS!!! I went on my first two hikes yesterday, and hopefully within a month I will have seen most of the park so I could tell anyone where the coolest places to go are.

All and all this is going to be one wild experience.
Hope all is well with all you all. (see i've already started!)

*loves*

Crystal of the wild
(i'm working on my indian name)

P.S. My humor is TOTALLY wasted here! there are only a few people here who understand sarcasm!!! And almost NO one knows any of the shows/movies I'm always quoting!!! Every time I try to crack a joke, the room goes quiet. It's seriously throwing me for a loop.

Packing sucks!!!

So I'm sitting here at work, half wondering why the hell I thought I could spare time to work today. . . half having a panic attack about the massive amount of shit that I have to pack up tomorrow. Why am I such a pack rat?!? Why do I feel it necessary to save everything "just in case" i'll ever need it?!? I will literally take me almost all of tomorrow to get everything in boxes. Oh so many boxes....
(If you find yourself bored tomorrow, anyone is more then welcome to come help me pack!!)

On another note, I am totally excited about my going away party tomorrow night!! I can't believe how many people have RSVP'd that they are coming!! I better call the bar and warn them to get an extra bartender in there. :P

Anyways, I really don't have anything to say except that I am both extremely anxious about getting everything done in time, and extremely excited to be about being so close to my adventure!

*loves*
Crystal

Time is drawing near...

Though I thought the last couple weeks would fly by, they have actually not disappeared as quickly as I had predicted (and it's not because I wasn't having fun).
Now that I am approaching the last two weeks of my time here in Utah I find myself letting my mind wander through memories of times I have spent here... in places I will not be going to for a while, and people I will not see for a bit. I also find my mind ecstatically racing towards thoughts of the future and what this summer will hold for me.

This summer is going to be all about me. In fact, my goal is to --for the first time in my life-- be absolutely selfish. As previously stated, I am shutting my phone off. I have no idea what the internet situation is like, though I can only imagine I will be too preoccupied with the beauty of the nature to even want to check it out. (at least not very often) Therefore, I can predict that I will be loosing touch with many of you... but I hope that you can understand that this is something I have to do for myself and that when my time in the wilderness is done, I will be reaching out to all of you, my loved ones.
I cannot promise that I will move back to Utah, as it has always been my dream to get out of here, but I can promise that I will come back to visit.

I am almost certain that this summer is going to open many doors for me, and help me learn how to be fully independant outside of my comfort zone. That it will teach me to spread my wings, so-to-speak. If this summer in Montana can jump-start the traveling section of my life then I will neither fight it or deny how much I want it. I will fully endulge in any endeavor this adventure brings to me. It is time for me to focus on myself, and to learn exactly who I am and exactly what I want from this life that I call my own. It is time for me to devote all of MY power too ME. Too long have I been handing out my energy and my power to make others happy. I can no longer do this, as it is stunting my soul from the growth that it longs for and craves.

Packing my things will be hardest part of the journey. It will be a clear indication that I am packing away my life here in Salt Lake. It has been a magical experience, both very good and very bad; but I have learned so very much from it all.
I would like to thank all of you who have touched me in one way or another:

To my girls who taught me the true importance of having girlfriends,

and the true force of 'girl power,'

I salute you!

To those of you who showed me what love is like.

What it can be, and what it is definitely not,

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To those of you who showed me that no matter how well you think you know a person,

they can always surprise you. That you should never fully trust anyone,

because we are all humans and we all have our flaws,

I am sincerely grateful.

To those of you who made me feel loved and beautiful,

Who have helped me grow strong by pointing out my flaws only to be helpful.

Those of you who were there for me,

and supported me in any and all endeavors,

well, I LOVE YOU,

and will always keep you close and dear to my heart!!!

I will never forget any of you, nor will I forget the lessons you have taught me.

Cheers to adventure!!!

*LOVES*

Yours Truly,

Crystal And

Monday, really?!?!

So I knew that my weekend would feel short... what with working on saturday and all, but for crying out loud, all day long I've been thinking it's Friday!!! I keep wanting to ask people what they're doing this weekend. Yargh. Damn you time for always be so deceptive!

Mother's day, which is probably one of my favorite holidays simply because I love ANY excuse to hang out with my Mom, was so fun! We went out to my Aunt Colleen's and snacked and drank, played with the ADORABLE twins Mckenna and Katelyn (really not sure how its spelled, ....some cousin I am), and drank, and ate some more, and laughed, and drank. etc.
Josh came and got to meet my family, and also got to see where I get my snort from. (Love you Aunt Leen!!) The girls were super excited to see me, and likewise was I with them. At one point I was holding McKenna, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around me and her adorable little face pressed up against mine; and for the first time in my life I could actually picture myself as a Mom. It was weird.
My card reader told me that even though I claim I don't want kids, that someday I would meet a man that would change my mind. It's bizzare how many things he was/is right about. In fact I'm going back to see him on Thursday.

My summer journey is also inching up closer and closer. I couldn't be more excited. A beautiful summer connecting myself to everything that is Mother Nature.

Oh also, my phone doesn't get service up there so I am shutting it off for the summer. I really am disconnecting myself from everything and fully endulging myself into the wild.

Anyways, just wanted to do a quick update, I will be leaving on the 30th, so once again, I would love to spend as much time with everyone as possible! Call me before I vanish into the wild!!

*Loves you all*

R.I.P. Dorothy Zbornak

I just learned that Bea Arthur passed away on Saturday. :(

I would just like to pay my respects to one of my favorite members of my all time favorite show, The Golden Girls.

I love you Dorothy!!!

WE WILL MISS YOU!!!

Blanche: "Well Dorothy, since when do you care what you look like?"

Dorothy: "Ever since I came down from the belltower and had my hump fixed."

It's official!!!

Yup. Got my contract, so now it's official! I will be leaving Utah in only FOUR WEEKS!!! AAAAHHHH!!! I am freaking out. Partly I'm freaking out because I'm excited, and partly I'm freaking out because I don't have much time to get everything done!!! Really I could ramble on and on about how amazing my summer is going to be but I won't rub it in too much. ;)

Being away from my cat is going to be the weirdest bit. Well her and my mom.
Hmm... should I really be putting those two in a comparitive thought? My cat is like my baby. My seven year old baby. It is going to be very hard to be away from her for so many months. Especially since she is the one who has been spooning with me everynight. That's right, I spoon with my cat. She puts her little head on my chin and I put my arm up through her legs and cup her face in my palm. Really, it's effing adorable. I would say that she keeps me warm at night, but since I'm basically a human heating pad, I think it's the other way around. I hope she doesn't forget me. Better yet, I hope she doesn't run away, or do something stupid like getting herself killed.

It all felt very surreal yesterday when I put the final stamp on it by putting in my four weeks. (yes I'm a kind soul who always give double what is expected) I will miss the people I work with. I will miss my friends. But I also know that I will probably be having too much fun to really miss them all that bad. ;P

Everyone is invited to come visit me up there. In fact, I encourage it. Some of you I have made promise that you will come. I will be holding you to that. (yes you! cause you're probably the only one reading this! hehe)

Well anyways, just wanted to finish off my last blog by actually coming out and telling you it's official. Look out wilderness... here I come!

It's officially unofficial!!!

Well kiddies......It's happened!

I just got the unofficial, "you've got the job,"
from Glacier National Park.
[It will be official 0nce they send me the contract and I sign it, and all that jazz.]

I couldn't be more excited!!! I am ECSTATIC!!!

Of course I am also suddenly feeling extremely over-whelmed as I only have five'ish weeks to get out of my apartment and get everything taken care of. But it will be oh-so worth it!!!

Here's some pictures of what my summer backyard will look like:
(Eat your heart out!!!)
GLORIOUS!!!!

So, if you wanna see me one last time before I take off,

then get to it!!!

*LOVES*

Food Blogs. Boooorrrriiiinnnnngggg....

What is with all these food blogs I keep seeing?!? Does anyone really care what other people eat? I mean, "look here's a picture of the salad I had for lunch today! " ? why? I know what a salad looks like. (and if I don't know what a salad looks like I should be doing better things than sitting here looking at blogs) Even worse are the pictures of empty plates. "here's the crumbs that's left over from my lunch today, and the plate I ate it on!!" YAY. not.
Isn't there some type of culinary blog for things like that? I thought blogs were supposed to focus on writing? Oh well. Just wanted to rant for a minute.

P.S. I totally had a delicious salad for lunch today! OH and soy yogurt for breakfast! go me! :P

If You Seek Amy

Really Britney Spears?!?! Really?!?!? WTF is this song?!? When I first heard the title I thought, hmmm... that's pretty retarded, but maybe she will construct the lyrics in such a way that it will be fitting and subtly seductive. (why did I give her so much credit?!?)
But really this is the most disgustingly ridiculous song I have EVER heard!!! --which is really REALLY bad coming from someone like me, who admittedly likes cheesy teeny bopper pop songs.--
If you haven't heard it, (you blessed soul) it goes a little something like this:

"Love me, Hate me,

say what you want about me,

but all of the girls and all of the boys

are willing to If You Seek Amy"

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

This does not make an OUNCE of sense!!!! I am severely disappointed. I mean, if you're going to be that blatantly obvious about what you're trying to say, then why the hell even cover it up with a stupid acronym!!!?? (is that even what you would call it?)

You should just come right out and call your song, "F.U.C.K. ME."

It's too bad because even though it is absurdly repetitive I do enjoy your song "Womanizer," (as I already stated, I like crappy music) but this song should have NEVER ever been allowed on your cd. What was your manager thinking?! He should be fired.

I think it is high time you retire. You had a nice run, you became a house-hold name, you got your stardom. You are done. Go away. or better yet, "if you see kay off."